Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Dear Whoever You Might Be

I'm here waiting patiently.

There's a song by The Civil Wars that's called "To Whom it May Concern."

It goes like this:
Why are you so far from me?
In my arms is where you ought to be
How long will you make me wait?
I don't know how much more I can take
I missed you but I haven't met you
Oh but I want to
How I do
Slowly counting down the days
Till I finally know your name
The way your hand feels round my waist
The way you laugh, the way your kisses taste
I missed you but I haven't met you
Oh but I want to
How I do
How I do
I've missed you but I haven't met you
Oh how I miss you but I haven't met you
Oh but I want to
Oh how I want to
Dear whoever you might be
I'm still waiting patiently 

It came on Pandora during the midst of a crying fit and the words fit so seamlessly into the thoughts I was thinking, the feelings I was feeling. That's never happened to me. I mean, I like music, I really do, but I've never been one of those people who's like "This song changed my life" or "I swear, that songs about me" or who listens to a song on repeat until they're sick of it. I like what I like but I seriously don't even have a favorite song or favorite band, or even a favorite genre. But this song, I love.

I'm a dancer, a dancer who is out of practice and out of touch with her own body, but I heard this song and felt moved to dance. I just listened and danced and cried. It was cathartic and kind of beautiful.

So if someone dealing with infertility happens upon my blog, looking as I have often looked at others' blogs for inspiration (or commiseration), and needs a good cry, do yourself a favor and search for the youtube video. 

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