11 Weeks

I can't believe I'm already 11 weeks along. I still can't really shake the feeling that something will go terribly wrong at any moment. No one knows at work. No one knows back home, except for my sister and B's brother. It's so hard not to share it. But then I remember how worried I am, and it makes me more resolved to keep it to ourselves until we have a better idea about the health of our babies.

We're visiting home in March. I will be around 14 weeks and that's when we'll share the news, if everything looks good at that point. We have this plan to do a big reveal at the airport. When we were little we would ALWAYS make signs or dress up and go to the airport to greet family coming to visit. One of my favorite examples of this was when my aunt was visiting for Christmas so we dressed my sister up like a Christmas tree and made a big, sparkly sign, and met her at the gate (back when you could still meet people at the gate). Like most airports, the one back home has a big dramatic escalator you ride down to greet your awaiting family. The plan is to make big signs, wait for all the people from our flight to go down, and then go down the escalator one after the other. B first, with a sign that says "We're Pregnant!" and then me, a few seconds later, with a sign that says, "with TWINS!" My sister will take a video of us coming down with her iPhone, and B will take a video from his phone of our family's reaction. At first we were planning on having my sister convince just my mom and dad to come get us, but then we started thinking maybe we should invite B's family too. They'll know something's up if EVERYONE is there. But maybe they'll think it's because of the deployment or something? We'll try and keep it casual.. "Hey, we'd love to see you as soon as we get in, would you maybe want to meet up at the airport and go for a quick bite to eat after we get in?"

I dunno, maybe none of it will work out. At least we'd have everyone there.. and that's the best part of the plan anyway. It's all pretty exciting.

We have our next ultrasound this Thursday! I'm excited to see how these little blobs have grown. I have been getting cramps, having lower back pain, and feeling sort of dizzy and light headed. Of course, Dr. Google has lead me to believe that these are all signs of an impending miscarriage, which is why I moved up the ultrasound three weeks. I just have to know. I can't imagine the thought of carrying around dead babies waiting to miscarry, waiting three more weeks to find out they're gone. It's pretty morbid, but that's sort of how my mind works. I just want to let myself get excited about this pregnancy. I want to be 12 weeks and see healthy babies. I know that that wont necessarily mean that I get two healthy babies in September, but it will make me feel much, much more secure.